Stagnation often feels like one foot pressing on the accelerator with a heavy foot on the brake. A ton of noise and effort, going nowhere.
Momentum happens when we consistently put more of our focus on what we want and invest less energy on what we don’t want.
There is ALWAYS something we don’t want about what we want.
Yes, you want to lose weight, but you want the extra piece of cheesecake. Yes, you want to save money, but you want the new shoes (or whatever tickles your “spend now” fancy). Yes, you want the new job, but you hate going on interviews.
I would but (no time, no money, not smart enough, not good enough, what will the neighbors say?)
And so on. Each of us our own blend of the “but box”.
It’s tempting to suck it up and follow the Nike slogan. And yet, willpower is only a short-term faculty, requiring great energy to maintain. Oscillation happens when the willpower depletes. Diet roller coaster. Got the tee shirt, here.
I invite you to try what works well for my coaching clients. Process the “but” box. Label, list then process.
Processing is holding what you want, conscious, active and present when the things you don’t want surface. It takes practice and works wonders.
Tell the truth about what you don’t want. Nurture what you want. Shift the focus and over time, the “don’t wants” diminish. (Never entirely)
Stop the inner war. What you resist persists. Instead, allow your inner CEO to come from the desire of the wish fulfilled and get those inner brats flying in better formation.
Success takes effort, much of the struggle is optional.
Tune in next week!
Conversations Worth Having: Using Appreciative Inquiry to Fuel Productive and Meaningful Engagement.
This elegantly simple, highly accessible, and yet deeply powerful book will give you the framework and tools to generate new conversations for positive change, at the individual relationship level as well as fully proven impact and applicability at the whole organizational level.
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